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| Get In Line... |
"You know what [the Department of Motor Vehicles] should do? When you walk in the door, they should have somebody hiding just punch you in the face. 'Cause at least after, you can be like, 'Ah! Alright, well, waiting in line's not so bad after the punch in the face!'" --Dane Cook
Public Service Announcement:
In order to drive across the border into Botswana you must have a clearance report from the Interpol. This document confirms that your vehicle isn’t stolen. It is for your protection, so we appreciate your taking the time to secure the correct documents. The following is the process for obtaining this document.
1. Go to the station. If you don’t know where that is, well, that’s strange. Everybody knows where it is.
2. At the station obtain FORM A. You will see several people in our office. We are happy to assist you as soon as we finish painting our nails and texting our girlfriends. Just wait patiently.
3. Oh, wait. Today is “Game Day” so unfortunately you’ll have to come back another time to get FORM A. You didn't know it was “Game Day”? That’s strange. Everybody knows this.
4. After you’ve completed FORM A please come back so we can have an officer verify your information. Come early, because there will be a long line. We will open 1 hour late, so make yourself comfortable. You will need to wait in your car for a couple hours while we attend to the 50 cars ahead of you.
5. When you are at the front of the line, please show your form to the officer. He will scribble a few notes on a pad and tell you to get FORM B on Musgukslhagew Road. You don’t know where that is? That’s strange. Everybody knows where that is, so we don’t have any directions for you.
6. Once you’ve found Musguksihagew Road, please come in. You will need to stand in line for about an hour, so someone can issue a receipt for your $4 fee. With this receipt, you then must go to Room 14, where the attendant will look up your number.
7. Go to Room 14. Please wait. The attendant will be with you as soon as he is finished with his break. Once you have this number, you need to return to the police station to fill out FORM C.
3. Oh, wait. Today is “Game Day” so unfortunately you’ll have to come back another time to get FORM A. You didn't know it was “Game Day”? That’s strange. Everybody knows this.
4. After you’ve completed FORM A please come back so we can have an officer verify your information. Come early, because there will be a long line. We will open 1 hour late, so make yourself comfortable. You will need to wait in your car for a couple hours while we attend to the 50 cars ahead of you.
5. When you are at the front of the line, please show your form to the officer. He will scribble a few notes on a pad and tell you to get FORM B on Musgukslhagew Road. You don’t know where that is? That’s strange. Everybody knows where that is, so we don’t have any directions for you.
6. Once you’ve found Musguksihagew Road, please come in. You will need to stand in line for about an hour, so someone can issue a receipt for your $4 fee. With this receipt, you then must go to Room 14, where the attendant will look up your number.
7. Go to Room 14. Please wait. The attendant will be with you as soon as he is finished with his break. Once you have this number, you need to return to the police station to fill out FORM C.
8. The Police Station staff would love to help you, but you came during our lunch break. You didn’t know that lunch is from 12:30 to 2:30? That’s strange. Everyone knows this is a policy. No we will not make an exception. Please come back after 2:30.
9. At 2:30 we are happy to help you, but we can't. We don’t have a receipt book, and the person who does the report is not here. He left at 2:30. You must return on Monday.
10. You can't come on Monday, because you have a business trip next week? That’s strange. Why would you schedule something if you knew that you needed to get this clearance report?
Once again we are here to serve you and value your opinion. If you have any comments or suggestions, please follow the following procedure:
1. Obtain a FORM X from Mugufilingishi road…
Hilarious to read, probably not so entertaining to experience:)
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