Parley Vue Fransay?

My French teacher in action.

"Wow! You have managed, all of you, to fail." --Sarah's French Teacher

I love my French class.  What we lack in brains, we make up for in enthusiasm.  It's not our fault that the French use vowels frivolously and are obsessed with gender agreement.   Should we answer a question correctly, Monsieur Guy "Ghee" exclaims, "The Holy Spirit has really helped you today!"  He is hands-down, the best language teacher I've ever had.

After today's class the kids and I went to Elizabeth's house.  I warned Alex and Isaac that she might serve fried caterpillars, so they were delighted to see fried chicken and French fries instead.  While we were there, Elizabeth's neighbor introduced herself to me.  I casually mentioned the special needs support group I'd like to start, and she said, "Wait!  I'll be right back.  I need to introduce you to some people."

A couple minutes later she returned with three ladies who've recently started a club for kids with special needs.  They'd gone door to door in their compound and gathered these "hidden" children.
They invited me back next Tuesday to see the club in action.  I can't wait!

Photos of Our Pad...

 Ok, ok...I've heard the request for pictures.  Here they are.  Seattle folks:  this is what blue sky really looks like.

This is Lake Road.  Go past the giant cell phone tower and ...

Turn here.  Drive for 1/4 mile.  When you reach the gate,  the guard will buzz you in.

We are house #3

Living Room/Dining room--(Our first TV ever!)

All three kids like to huddle on the rug when I am cooking. 

Alex and Isaac's beds.  Those are mosquito nets above their beds.

The swimming pool we share with the neighbors.  Rough, isn't it?

Remember that 1/4 mile dirt road?  When our kids are naughty we kick them out of the car and make them run the entire thing.  If they stop running we squirt them with water.  Creative discipline...  

Guest Post from Alexandra

Have you seen me?

This Easter while me, dad, and Isaac were swimming, mom came and said, "Come here! There’s something hanging up! Come here and see!"

We came and saw that there was a sign that said, "Happy Easter!"  There were three empty Easter bags.  Than I looked around and I saw an Easter egg and picked it up. 

And I said, "IT'S AN EASTER HUNT!!!!!!!!!"

We picked up all the eggs.  There were even some big ones.   I ate two candies.                               

Sarah's note:  Alexandra and Isaac even asked the very-much-bewildered security guard if he'd seen a Bunny hiding plastic eggs in our yard.  They couldn't believe that the Easter Bunny managed to sneak by all of us...especially me, since I was in the house when it happened!

Easter Weekend

Isaac and his True Love

We spent Easter afternoon at a charming cafe surrounded by amazing gardens and a kids bouncy house.  The service was painfully slow, but no matter, the kids were in heaven.

Isaac spotted a girl from his French class and ran into her arms.  I knew instantly that this was his true love by the way he chased her.  She's a speedy sprinter, and cuter than anything, so I approve.

I told Isaac, "NO kissing!"

"Mom," he replied, "I only kiss her when the teacher isn't looking."  This isn't my DNA, that's for sure.

After our meal, I chatted with a Muslim woman from South Africa.  She asked about Oliver and how I came to accept having a child with special needs.  She told me that one of her friends just gave birth to twins--one healthy, the other with severe brain damage.   I suggested that we all get together.

That's when I remembered my recent prayer:  God, show me what I'm supposed to do in Zambia.

Today we had lunch at another quaint spot, and a couple of tables away there was a kid with Down syndrome.  Well, the truth is that I didn't really know for sure that he had that extra chromosome,  so I stared.  His parents stared back at Oliver.  Then we just risked embarrassment and introduced ourselves.

We swapped stories and became instant friends.  We decided to launch a support group for moms with special needs kids.  Apparently in Zambia a child with disability is usually hidden away, which is really too bad.  I've been blessed by how many people--both in Zambia and in the States--have loved on Oliver.

After Awhile, Crocodile!

Aww...snuggles

We spent Good Friday at the Reptile Farm.   "Lovemore" was our guide, although he's "Crazy Snake Man" to me.  He showed us Black Mambas, Green Mambas, Gaboon Vipers, Puff Adders, Spitting Cobras, and a Python.  He pulled out a harmless brown snake for us to hold.  Isaac did it enthusiastically.  I did it reluctantly.  Eric and Alex adamantly refused.

Who wouldn't want to hold this guy?

Most of the snakes eat day old chicks.  To feed them, Crazy Snake Man looks at the snakes to determine their body language.  If they aren't hostile, he runs around to the back of the cage and throws in the chicks.  The Black Mambas are the trickiest--they are aggressive, deadly, and keen on escaping.

Crazy Snake Man captured most of the snakes for the exhibits.  The locals call him to remove serpents from their fields.  One family opened the hood of their car and found a Black Mamba hanging out, and Crazy Snake Man came to the rescue.

I love the idea of snakes being captured, so here's the crazy part:  if the Reptile Farm has too many snakes, they will throw a few over the fence and into the river.

"Oh, so the fence keeps them from coming back?" asked Eric.

"No.  They just drift down stream and find a new home," our guide replied.

I had the heebie-jeebies walking through the neatly manicured picnic area to the adult crocodile exhibit.  I was sure a Spitting Cobra would drop from one of the trees.

But the snakes seemed like child's play when I met the 200 adult crocodiles--some weighing half a ton and 15 feet long.  And only a measly chainlink fence separated us from these beasts.  I asked Crazy Snake Man if the fence would really hold up to a croc attack, and he said, "Yes...so long as he wasn't really provoked."

I could have touched this fella...

That's when I looked down at my son, who was poking a stick through the hole in the fence.  I yelled, "Isaac, didn't you just hear what the guide said?"  "But mom," he replied innocently, "I wasn't going to do anything."

And that's when I wrapped up the tour and escorted the kids to the picnic area for lunch.  We shared some fries and a crocodile burger, which oddly enough, does taste like chicken.

Other Creepy Crawlies

Shoo, Fly Shoo!

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. --Erma Bombeck

Ironing is a big deal here in Africa.  Mostly because the Tumbu fly likes to lay its eggs in damp clothing drying on lines. If you skip ironing your shirt, a little Tumbu fly maggot may burrow into your skin.

Should that happen, don't worry.  The Diplomatic Spouses Association of Lusaka has the following tips for removing the hitchhiker:

1) Put Vaseline on it and cover with a Band-Aid
2) Wait for the suffocating larva to come to the surface of your skin like a pimple
3) Remove the Band-aid and gently squeeze out the (very-much-alive) maggot

This is why we iron everything: our socks...even our underwear.  I prefer the super-steam setting.

Home Sweet Home!

(This is a guest post from Eric...)
The house hunting has worked out better than I had hoped for. We needed a
three month lease on a fully furnished place with three bedrooms...which
basically doesn't exist.  They charge slightly higher rents, but have much higher turnover. Anyway, I was getting used to either living in a total dive, a
very small 2 bedroom, or having to live on mats for 3 months in a long term
place until our stuff arrived. 

None very good options. 

Then after 3 days of looking last week, we found this new construction 3 bedroom home that was unfurnished. I proposed to the landlord that I'd put some money toward some of the furniture if he'd buy the type of furniture I liked...which is basically really expensive. He went for it, so we're going to have a sweet place for a few months.  The stuff I need to buy, I needed to buy
anyways, so it's fine. All working out...but a lot of rabbit trails to
find the gem in the rough. This place really needs Craigslist. Ericslist
has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

We are lined up to buy a replacement Corolla. It's a 2000 model with 10k
miles...sweet, eh? The "purchase" process takes about a week here as the
"tax free" status I get an a newly arrived Non Profit Employee has to go
through one of the ministries with a bunch of rubber stamps. I'm now in
the harder search for a 4x4 that will seat 6 people (once we adopt a baby). The
used ones are either really expensive (over $30k) or beat to hell. Being
the cheapskate that I am, and wanting to have a vehicle that won't break
down in the middle of nowhere on safari, I'm having to work a little magic
with some new Pakistani friends who have the market for "vehicles straight
from Japan" cornered. Never trust an analog (non digital) odometer in
Africa. You should see the shape these vehicles are in after only "25,000
miles".

Last week and this week has been mostly running around looking for a place
to stay, vehicles to take kids to school and/or work, outfitting our home,
getting a blackberry working, and getting over jet lag. Honestly, I'm
looking forward to being able to focus on work after such a long transition
period. I'm told someone is looking for a desk space for me...for the time
being, I'm stuck in a "loaner" closet without a key to get into the
office. 

Our home is in a compound of 3 homes that share a gate guard, pool/bbq area, and an open playing field. All have their own landscaped front yard, gate and covered parking. It's quaint, safe, and across from a graveyard. I think we'll
call it Little Tukwila. Will send pics as soon as we can get a faster internet connection.

The kids are adjusting to French School just fine, but I question how much
they are getting out of the teaching. I'm sure that'll change in another
few weeks. Sarah's taking a French class 5x/wk for 2 hours each for 2
months. She knows more French grammar than I do already...made lots of
friends in class, and found a good nanny for Oliver during class. She's
amazing, and very brave to tackle all this transition with 3 needy kids (or
4?).

We will hopefully be with all our stuff in our permanent place in early
August. Just got word today that our container will leave on the next
available ship. We found a perfect home via some Americans that are
leaving in June...keeping our fingers crossed on this opportunity. It has
gorgeous gardens, 4 bedrooms, a marvelous covered porch, and close to the
kid's school. When you come to visit, there'll be plenty of space.

Zambian Check

Too bad it's not in dollars...

Zambian Cuisine

Isn't the presentation lovely?

I ate fried caterpillars today, and no, they did not taste like chicken.  More like chewy potato skins.

Living in Japan prepared me for this meal.  My Japanese friends introduced me to all sorts of delicacies:  sea urchin sushi, a bee and larvae casserole, and BBQ cow intestines.

But today's meal was something special, because Elizabeth was the first Zambian to welcome me into her home.

Elizabeth is Oliver's nanny during my French class.  She and her three children live in a sparse room, in a cinderblock building, in a crummy neighborhood.  For many Americans, her "home" would be our garden shed.

Elizabeth also invited her two neighbors and their infants for lunch.  We laughed about how God forgot to put color in my skin.  I cried as she shared about losing her beloved husband unexpectedly.

After I ate my fill of caterpillars and nshima (a maize porriage like Cream of Wheat), Elizabeth's daughter Joy finished off my plate.

I will never forget this meal, and I'm grateful that Elizabeth had the grit to invite me into her world.

Camping With Lions

Mmm...baby food!

Alex's French teacher has a new baby, so he won't be going camping this year.   That's because an infant's cry attracts lions much like blood seduces sharks.   A lion will barge into a tent, snatch the crying tot, and gobble him right up.

"Aren't there fences around the campgrounds to keep out the wildlife?"  asked Eric.

"It's not necessary.  Lions don't bother campers unless there is a baby," he explained nonchalantly.

I'm not convinced.  Seems to me a campground is a lion's vending machine...an assortment of tasty morsels in nylon wrappers.  

So after careful consideration I've decided to pass on camping this year.   I'd rather go rafting with crocodiles.

School and Driving

"This car is upside down." --Alex Showell

I’m impressed with my children.  We left Seattle Friday.  Arrived in Lusaka Monday.  On Tuesday Alex and Isaac started school, and they love it.  Alex already has five boyfriends, and Isaac has three girlfriends. 

The national language is English (Yee haw!), but we’ve enrolled them in a French school.   Alex told me, “It sounds like they are just saying nonsense words, Mom, but it’s like a secret language.  I can’t wait until I understand it.”

I don’t want my children to have a “secret” language that can be used against me, so I start French classes next week.

I'm dying to settle down. We've been in transition since February, and I can’t find a darn thing anymore.  This week we stayed at a friend's home while they were out of town.  Today we move back into a hotel until we can sign a lease on our own home.

Driving is an extreme sport here.  Everything is opposite for us, so we often turn on the windshield wipers when we want to signal a turn.  Street names are occasionally marked, and major intersections are massive traffic circles of pandemonium.  The Zambian government should issue WARNING placards for our car to alert the other drivers.

London Layover and Zambian Arrival

Zzzzzzz............

Who knew that you're only allowed two pieces of luggage?  Even our plane permitted three checked bags each.   But this was a London hotel shuttle, and rules are rules. 

The first shuttle driver didn't say anything:  he even helped load our 30 bags.  Maybe he knew how far we'd come.  Or perhaps he questioned our sanity.  Either way he welcomed us aboard.

The second shuttle driver was a different story.  He growled when we boarded, and halfway back to the airport, he reported us to a woman with a badge.  She told us that we could be fined $20 a bag, but it was up to our driver.  The driver wanted to fine us, but  he chose the path of least resistance.  We weren't displacing anyone, and Eric can put up a good fight.

I'd like to attach Canadian flag patches to all of our bags.  That way we won't give people a bad impression of Americans!

Eric slept fairly well on the 10-hour flight.  The rest of us didn't sleep at all, except for Isaac who passed out five minutes before our plane landed.  British Airways checked our stroller, so we had to carry Oliver and all of our carry on luggage through the hour-long Zambian immigration queue.  I requested a wheelchair, but was denied.  Toddlers can't use wheelchairs for safety issues.  Ha!  Oliver crawled around on the airport floor, and Isaac fell asleep there as well.  No worries...I'm sure that place is quite sanitary!

We Made It!

We made it to Zambia! When I can figure out how to connect the
Wireless I will write more of our adventures so far. Stay tuned...