Camping on Crack

This is a lion next to our car.

Camping is simply daring nature to kill you.

I mean, what kind of a person pays to set up a nylon tent in the middle of Kafue National Park with her three children (and two Zambian tag-a-long teens)?

Seriously, we camped a few feet from a river filled with CROCODILES and HIPPOS, in a park where LIONS, LEOPARDS, and ELEPHANTS can wander through the campsite.  There are no fences, people.

Oh, and did I mention the snakes?  Let's see...Black mambas, cobras, green tree snakes, vipers, and puff adders also call this their home.

"Just make sure the kids always walk with an adult," the campground guide warned us.

I encouraged my kids to be on extra-good behavior, because "You never know how Mommy will react if a lion charges us.  She may choose self-preservation."

Photos By Krystel Porter

There is nothing quite like driving around the park looking for wildlife...and then finding lions.   Or watching an elephant flap his ears and trumpet a "It's time ya'll moved along."  Absolutely spectacular.

And it's true.  Much like camping in the States with bears and cougars, the animals usually don't bother humans.  The insects on the other hand...

A murdered Tsetse fly.  (He deserved to die)

The Tsetse flies invaded our car a few miles from the camp.  These awful little buggers bite and make you string together colorful cuss words.

Army Ants

....And let's be clear:  There is nothing funny about "ants in your pants."  A few of these little guys crawled up my leg upon our arrival.  Then they started biting.  Believe me, my pants were off as quick you can say "Robert is your father's brother."

There is nothing like camping in African wilderness with kids.  Eric left with a greater respect for nature, and I left with a new mantra:

Never again.