Sunday Snot Suckers

"Love is like a booger, you pick and pick at it. Then when you get it, you wonder how to get rid of it." --Mae West

Oliver woke me up last night with one swollen cheek and a gooey green nose.  Fantastic, I thought. There's nothing I like better than going to the hospital on the weekend.

Eric and I took small child to ONE OF THE BEST HOSPITALS in Lusaka. That is key to this story. (If you are a worry wart, please chill.  We have great medical evacuation insurance.)

Before we even saw the doctor, Eric snapped this photo of the wall in the waiting room hallway.

Ok, super sleuths...what's missing?

Then I found this poster in the restroom.  My favorite is the last illustration of how NOT to use the toilet. This means someone has actually done this.

Don't worry.  Oliver has never vomited IN the toilet at this hospital.  

The doctor poked and prodded Oliver's mouth to see what the problem was.  Then he prescribed antibiotics.  Oliver didn't say much during the whole examination except, "Fox."  Which was kind of awkward, because he still can't say the "s" sound.  I assured the doctor that Oliver just LOVES "Fantastic Mr. Fox", but I don't think he believed me.

The doctor told us to keep an eye on the infection.  Then he added, "One of you needs to suck the mucus out his nose."

Eric turned to me and asked, "We DO have one of those nose suckers, don't we?"

"Yes," I assured him.  Finding it may be a challenge.

"Actually," the doctor interjected, "The best way to clean it is for you to suck his nose with your mouth."

"Ha, your joking, right?"  Eric asked.

"No, seriously.  That way you can feel when you've got it all out."

I gagged and thought, Oliver's nose can fall off before I'm sticking my mouth there. Do you have any idea how toxic that small child is?

Don't worry, Oliver's nose will be fine.  Right now Eric is scouring Lusaka for an industrial vacuum cleaner.